Knitting Socks and Mittens or why I wish I could feed knits to a dog

Let me explain: you know how you always give the first pancake to the dog? It never comes out right. The pan is never the right temperature and there's always too much or too little butter. Sometimes you don't have your flip down yet. It just never comes out right. That's why you always give the first one to the dog. Always. Even if you don't have a dog, you find one and you give them the dang pancake.

That's sort of what I wish I could do with the first mitten. I'm making mittens for my family for Christmas and they're coming out a little funny. I made a pair and the pattern went way too high up the fingers for my liking, but I didn't want to take the whole thing out and figure out my row count etc again since I was writing the pattern for the second as I knit the first. I ended up making two with the slightly weird pattern (they look less bad now that there are two of them). I wish I could do something with awkward knits that are supposed to have a mate so that they don't go to waste. I wish there was an equivalent of feeding it to the dog, but for knits. The beauty of feeding a pancake to the dog is that it's easy for you to eliminate your failure and the dog really appreciates your effort. Does this make sense? Does anything like this exist yet? Is there anybody out there who would take my awkwardly patterned mittens or huge socks? I really need to knit two at once, that'll either fix my problem or make everything worse.

If you have any help for me please let me know. Does anybody out there have this problem? We could team up! I'll start collecting them and turn them into something new. We'll start this now! Weird socks unite!

I hope everybody has a good December. Thanks for reading!

Best,
Anna

Smarterer(er)

First of all, y'all should know I'm a BzzAgent. Being a BzzAgent is really cool. You get to try new things and tell people about them in person, on facebook, on twitter, or on a blog. You can join at bzzagent and start trying and sharing new things.

I recently got to try Smarterer. I have to say that I don't really get it. You can go there and test your knowledge of facebook, twitter and the like and prove that you're smarter(er) than your facebook using peers, I guess. Maybe it's a step forward to feeling less shame about how much time we spend with our tech. Instead of lying about how much time spent tweeting and facebooking, we embrace it and prove to our friends that even if we haven't been outside in days at least we're smarterer about facebook. Now there's another way to waste time on the internet. Sick of just browsing people statuses on facebook? Show them how much better you are at browsing than they are.

Maybe I'm just not ready to let go of my tech shame yet. I want to hang onto the guilt about how much time I really spend on my computer and not talking to real people. I'm not ready to boast about it. Feeling shame makes me feel like I haven't completely gone to the antisocial tech dark side yet.

Am I being too harsh? I also don't really like the name. It takes me back to elementary school taunts. "I'm smarter!" "Oh, yeah, well I'm smarterer infinity!"

In the interest of full disclosure, I only too the BzzAgent test. I got a little obsessed with getting my percentage into the smarterer category. I kept going back and answering more questions until I could prove I was smarterer than other BzzAgents out there. Then I took a step back and wondered why it was so important to me. I don't need to prove that I spend more time on the internet. It's not something I'm proud of.

I think I'll go read a book now.

Foxy Stole

My eyePhone was a little short lived because I have a proper iPhone now. I'm using it to post this. My camera and iPod both died this weekend so this was a good solution. I've wanted an iPhone since there were iPhones. In honor of things I've been meaning to do, I bring you my fox stole.

I started it last January but didn't finish it until a couple of months ago. I was working with 5 balls of yarn so I was afraid of tangles when picking it back up but it wasn't too bad especially considering it had spent several months in a pile at the bottom of my closet. I don't have a pattern because it I made it up as I went but it was too cute not to share.

I hope you like it. If you have any questions or comments about anything please let me know.

Best,
Anna

eyePhone

Look! It's and eyePhone! Get it? Hahahahaha!!!! I make myself laugh. I didn't actually think of the iPhone pun until after I finished it. Sorry about the picture quality, I took it with my webcam. I simply hot glued a bunch of googly eyes to my phone. This is what happens when I'm left alone too long with a glue gun and stuff from the dollar store. Do you think this voided my warrantee? The hot glue peels off of the phone pretty easily. Do you like it? Is it cool or crazy?

I also put a couple of googly eyes on my trusty stand mixer. It makes me laugh whenever I use it. I just stuck them on with little loops of tape. I didn't want anything too permanent. I also make sure they're still there when I finish mixing something. I don't want to find an eye in a brownie.

I've got a couple of other finished knitting projects to share, but my camera died and I keep forgetting to buy batteries. The webcam pictures aren't going to cut it.

Knit in knit

Warning: this project might make you want to cut holes in all of your clothes. My husband had to talk me out of it.

You will need:
An old shirt, preferably knit fabric
a circular template, I used a plate
something to write on fabric
scissors
crochet thread or maybe embroidery floss (mine was a little thick, so sewing it was a pain)
sewing needle
circular knitting needles

Turn your shirt inside out. Make sure the back of the shirt is facing you (or whatever part you want the knitting to cover).

Trace your circle. It might be good to make sure the placement is right. You could use other shapes too, but the math will be different.

Cut out your shape. Fold over the raw edge about 1/4 inch on each side. The knit stretched enough that the fold was really clean. Pin in place.

Knit a gauge swatch in stockinette. I used size 8 needles to make a loose fabric. Measure the stitches and rows/inch.

Measure the radius (distance from middle to edge) of your circle. This will tell you how many rows (rounds) to knit.

Calculate the circumference of your circle using diameter times 3.14. The diameter is 2 times the radius.
This and your gauge swatch will tell you how many stitches you need in your first round.

Subtract 2 times the height of one row of stitches from your diameter. Multiply this by 3.14 to get your next circumference. Use this to figure out how many stitches in your next round.

Continue this process until you get 0 for your diameter. Now you can figure out how many stitches to subtract each round. If your number is consistent, you can create your decreases at the same point on the circle and create sort of a pattern this way. I distributed mine randomly.

Using a whip stitch, sew the number of stitches you need for your first round around the circle. This was difficult because of the thickness of my thread so I advise using very fine crochet thread or using embroidery floss.

Turn right side out and knit once into each sewn stitch. Continue knitting following the pattern you created until you reach the middle. Draw the thread through each stitch and pull tightly. Weave in ends and wear.

I hope this made sense and also that I didn't over explain. Please comment with any comments or questions or feel free to email me. Thanks for reading!

Vegetarian S'mores

S'mores are a summer staple, but marshmallows aren't exactly vegetarian friendly. Vegan marshmallows exist, but they're expensive and not always readily available. I'm sure I'm not the first person to think of this, but I use banana instead of marshmallow. Cut a piece of ripe banana that's about the size of a marshmallow. Roast it over an open flame until it gets a little toasted. Make sure it doesn't fall off the stick as it softens. Assemble the s'more as usual. The banana should smush and melt the chocolate just like a toasted marshmallow would. Now vegetarians can join in the fun too! Enjoy!

Strawberry Yogurt Stripe Popsicles!

I'm not the first person to make striped popsicles or strawberry yogurt ones. I just wanted to make something with the fresh strawberries that are starting to come in. I made enough for 2 popsicles, each popsicle mold holds a little more than 1/3 cup of liquid so I made about 1/3 of a cup of each mixture.

Yogurt:
nonfat plain yogurt
vanilla extract
honey
milk (to thin yogurt slightly)
mix all ingredients together to taste

Strawberries:
chopped strawberries (I removed the hulls and white parts) Use a few more than you think you need.
sugar
salt and pepper (just a little to enhance the flavor)
Allow ingredients to sit together while mixing the yogurt (to allow flavors to meld and juices to flow slightly) then blend all the ingredients with a blender.

Add a spoonful of one mixture to each mold avoiding the sides of the mold and allow to set in the freezer (about 20 minutes depending on freezer temperature etc). Only the top needs to be firm. Continue alternating strawberry and yogurt each time. Insert the sticks after the last addition. The layers should still be soft enough to insert the stick easily. These would probably taste better with the strawberry and yogurt mixed, but they wouldn't be as pretty. Add blueberries too for a patriotic popsicle.

Enjoy!